Eyes Wide Open
A Novel
By Andrew Gross
William Morrow
Copyright © 2011
Andrew Gross
All right reserved.
ISBN: 9780061655968
Chapter One
A myriad of lights flickered brightly in the distance. The whoosh
of the surf cascading against the rocks was only a far-off whisper
hundreds of feet below.
From up here, the lights all seemed just like candles to him.
Millions of candles! Like the whole world had all come out and
assembled before him, an endless procession at his feet.
It made him smile. He had never seen anything more beautiful
fin his life. He had always wondered what it would be like from
up here—the gigantic mound of rock, miles and miles of coastline
stretching below.
Now he knew.
You could probably see all the way to L.A., the boy imagined. He
was no longer a boy really, he was twenty-one—though sometimes
he still felt like one.
What are the voices saying to you now?
He stepped out closer to the ledge. “They’re saying this is where
I was meant to be.”
He had made the climb up hours ago, before it got dark, to be
alone with his thoughts. To calm the noise that was always in his
head. To see . . . And now it was just so beautiful. And all the voices
had quieted except one.
His angel, he called her. The one voice he could trust.
Have you ever seen anything more beautiful? the angel asked
him.
“No, I haven’t.” He looked down at the lights of the small coastal
town. “Never.”
Waves crashed against the jagged rocks below. His heart picked
up excitedly. “I can see the whole world.”
Yes, it’s all there for you.
He hadn’t taken his meds today. Usually that made him a little
foggy, his thoughts jumbled. But today, maybe for the first time ever,
his mind was clear. Completely clear. “I feel just like Jesus.”
Maybe you are, his angel answered.
“Then maybe I should just return from where I came. Maybe
God wants me back. Maybe that’s what I’m feeling.”
You’re not meant for this world, the voice replied. You’re
smarter. You were destined for greater things. You’ve always known
that, right?
Yes. The voice was soothing and close to his ear. His heart began
to pound like the surf. There’s only one way to find out . . .
He took another step, closer to the edge, the darkness surrounding
him. The breeze brushed against his face. “That feels good. I feel
good. I feel good about this.”
Just spread your arms, his angel instructed him.
“Like wings?” He opened his arms wide. “You mean like this?”
Yes, just like that. Now think of heading home. The pain you
will no longer be feeling. You see those lights? They’re all so
beautiful, aren’t they?
“They are!”
Beneath him, a piece of the ledge broke loose. It took several
seconds until he heard the sound of it breaking apart on the craggy
rocks below. He stepped back, fear springing up in him. “I’m scared.”
Don’t be. This is the moment it’s all been leading to. All these
years. You know this, don’t you?
“Yes.” He nodded. “I know . . .”
Then open your arms. Just let the wind caress your face. Let the
darkness take you. It’s easy . . .
“I feel it!” the boy said. He spread his arms. “I do.”
Feel how loving its touch is. How free of pain. You’ve been in so
much pain lately.
“I have been. Yes, I have.”
It would be good to be rid of the pain, just for once. To stop
the voices. To stop feeling he was letting everyone down. He knew
how much of a burden he was. To his parents. To everyone who had
expectations of him. The absence of pain is heaven, isn’t it? Heaven.
That would be nice. To finally be free of it.
Then just reach out, the angel said. Let it take you. Like the
wind. Just think of heading home. That’s all it is. You can do that,
can’t you?
“I think so,” he said, nodding. “I think so.”
Sucking in a breath, he stepped farther out on the edge, his pulse
picking up speed. Only the cushion of darkness beneath him. The
welcoming sound of the surf far below. How incredibly peaceful it
all was. And those candles, so beautiful . . .
So this was it . . .
“I’m so sorry!” he shouted to the panoply of lights. To his mother
and father. He knew how much this would hurt and disappoint them.
“Like an angel . . .” he said, shutting his eyes. A final cacophony
built in his brain. He stretched out his arms wide, palms in the air.
“Like this . . . ?”
Yes, just like that, the angel said.
Then fly.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Eyes Wide Open
by Andrew Gross
Copyright © 2011 by Andrew Gross.
Excerpted by permission of William Morrow. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.