Why won't you apologize? : healing big betrayals and everyday hurts / Harriet Lerner, Ph. D.

The Many Faces of "I'm Sorry" -- Five Ways to Ruin an Apology -- More Wimpy, Overblown, and Downright Relationship-Busting Sorrys -- Apologizing Under Fire: How to Handle Big-Time Criticism -- The Secret Life of the Non-Apologizer -- "He's so Defensive!" What Do You Have to Do With It? -- How--and Whether--to Accept the Olive Branch -- Who Is at Fault? -- When Reconciliation Grinds to a Halt -- The Most Stunning Apology I Ever Witnessed 00 "You Need to Forgive" and Other Lies That Hurt You -- How to Find Peace -- The Two Most Powerful Words in the English Language.

"Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language--Im sorry--and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust. Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologiesand why some people wont give themfor more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt weve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful (S2(BIm sorry(S3 (Band avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury. Why Wont You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured partythe one who has been hurt by someone who wont apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right,"--Amazon.com.