The distance between us : a memoir

Title:

Author:

Grande, Reyna.

ISBN:

9781451661774

9781451661781

Personal Author:

Grande, Reyna.

Edition:

First Atria Books hardcover edition.

Publication Information:

New York : Atria Books, 2012.

Physical Description:

325 pages : illustrations ; 24 cm

Abstract:

When Reyna Grande's father leaves his wife and three children behind in a village in Mexico to make the dangerous trek across the border to the United States, he promises he will soon return from "El Otro Lado" (The Other Side) with enough money to build them a dream house where they can all live together. His promises become harder to believe as months turn into years. When he summons his wife to join him, Reyna and her siblings are deposited in the already overburdened household of their stern, unsmiling grandmother. The three siblings are forced to look out for themselves; in childish games they find a way to forget the pain of abandonment and learn to solve very adult problems. When their mother at last returns, the reunion sets the stage for a dramatic new chapter in Reyna's young life: her own journey to "El Otro Lado" to live with the man who has haunted her imagination for years, her long-absent father. -- Jacket, p. [2]

Personal Subject:

Grande, Reyna-Childhood and youth.

Subject Term:

Mexican Americans -- Biography.

Immigrants -- United States -- Biography.

Abused children -- United States -- Biography.

Mexican Americans -- California -- Los Angeles -- Biography.

Mexican American women authors -- Biography.

Geographic Term:

Mexico -- Emigration and immigration -- Social aspects.

United States -- Emigration and immigration -- Social aspects.

Los Angeles (Calif.) -- Biography.

Document ID:

SD_ILS:2077101

Holds: Copies:

Available:*

Library	Collection	Collection	Call Number	Status
Searching... Betty Rodriguez Library (Fresno Co.)	Searching... Unknown	Non-fiction Area	306.88092 GRA	Searching... Unknown
Searching... Mendota Branch Library (Fresno Co.)	Searching... Unknown	Non-fiction Area	306.88092 GRA	Searching... Unknown
Searching... Merced Main Library (Merced Co.)	Searching... Unknown	Non-Fiction	921 GRA	Searching... Unknown
Searching... Politi Branch Library (Fresno Co.)	Searching... Unknown	Non-fiction Area	306.88092 GRA	Searching... Unknown
Searching... Ridgecrest Branch Library (Kern Co.)	Searching... Unknown	Adult Non-Fiction	306.88092 GRA	Searching... Unknown
Searching... Sanger Branch Library (Fresno Co.)	Searching... Unknown	Non-fiction Area	306.88092 GRA	Searching... Unknown
Searching... Tulare Public Library	Searching... Unknown	Adult Biography	Grande	Searching... Unknown
Searching... Woodward Park Library (Fresno Co.)	Searching... Unknown	Non-fiction Area	306.88092 GRA	Searching... Unknown

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Summary

From an award-winning novelist and sought-after public speaker, an eye-opening memoir about life before and after illegally emigrating from Mexico to the United States.

Mago pointed to a spot on the dirt floor and reminded me that my umbilical cord was buried there. "That way," Mami told the midwife, "no matter where life takes her, she won't ever forget where she came from."

Then Mago touched my belly button . . . She said that my umbilical cord was like a ribbon that connected me to Mami. She said, "It doesn't matter that there's a distance btween us now. That cord is there forever."

When Reyna Grande's father leaves his wife and three children behind in a village in Mexico to make the dangerous trek across the border to the United States, he promises he will soon return from "El Otro Lado" (The Other Side) with enough money to build them a dream house where they can all live together. His promises become harder to believe as months turn into years. When he summons his wife to join him, Reyna and her siblings are deposited in the already overburdened household of their stern, unsmiling grandmother.

The three siblings are forced to look out for themselves; in childish games they find a way to forget the pain of abandonment and learn to solve very adult problems. When their mother at last returns, the reunion sets the stage for a dramatic new chapter in Reyna's young life: her own journey to "El Otro Lado" to live with the man who has haunted her imagination for years, her long-absent father.

In this extraordinary memoir, award-winning writer Reyna Grande vividly brings to life her tumultuous early years, capturing all the confusion and contradictions of childhood, especially one spent torn between two parents and two countries. Elated when she feels the glow of her father's love and approval, Reyna knows that at any moment he might turn angry or violent. Only in books and music and her rich imaginary life does she find solace, a momentary refuge from a world in which every place feels like "El Otro Lado."

The Distance Between Us captures one girl's passage from childhood to adolescence and beyond. A funny, heartbreaking, lyrical story, it reminds us that the joys and sorrows of childhood are always with us, invisible to the eye but imprinted on the heart, forever calling out to us of those places we first called home.

Author Notes

Reyna Grande is the author of two award-winning novels. Across a Hundred Mountains received an American Book Award, and Dancing with Butterflies was the recipient of an International Latino Book Award. Reyna lives in Los Angeles.

Reviews (3)

Publisher's Weekly Review

Award-winning novelist (Across a Hundred Mountains) Grande captivates and inspires in her memoir. Raised in Mexico in brutal poverty during the 1980s, four-year-old Grande and her two siblings lived with their cruel grandmother after both parents departed for the U.S. in search of work. Grande deftly evokes the searing sense of heartache and confusion created by their parents' departure. Eight years later her father returned and reluctantly agreed to take his children to the States. Yet life on the other side of the border was not what Grande imagined: her father's new girlfriend's indifference to the three children becomes more than apparent. Though Grande's father continually stressed the importance of his children obtaining an education, his drinking resulted in violence, abuse, and family chaos. Surrounded by family turmoil, Grande discovered a love of writing and found solace in library books, and she eventually graduated from high school and went on to become the first person in her family to graduate from college. Tracing the complex and tattered relationships binding the family together, especially the bond she shared with her older sister, the author intimately probes her family's history for clues to its disintegration. Recounting her story without self-pity, she gracefully chronicles the painful results of a family shattered by repeated separations and traumas (Aug.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

Kirkus Review

In her first nonfiction book, novelist Grande (Dancing with Butterflies, 2009, etc.) delves into her family's cycle of separation and reunification. Raised in poverty so severe that spaghetti reminded her of the tapeworms endemic to children in her Mexican hometown, the author is her family's only college graduate and writer, whose honors include an American Book Award and International Latino Book Award. Though she was too young to remember her father when he entered the United States illegally seeking money to improve life for his family, she idolized him from afar. However, she also blamed him for taking away her mother after he sent for her when the author was not yet 5 years old. Though she emulated her sister, she ultimately answered to herself, and both siblings constantly sought affirmation of their parents' love, whether they were present or not. When one caused disappointment, the siblings focused their hopes on the other. These contradictions prove to be the narrator's hallmarks, as she consistently displays a fierce willingness to ask tough questions, accept startling answers, and candidly render emotional and physical violence. Even as a girl, Grande understood the redemptive power of language to define--in the U.S., her name's literal translation, "big queen," led to ridicule from other children--and to complicate. In spelling class, when a teacher used the sentence "my mam loves me" (mi mam me ama), Grande decided to "rearrange the words so that they formed a question: Me ama mi mam? Does my mama love me?" A standout immigrant coming-of-age story.]] Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Booklist Review

Grande revisits the themes of her acclaimed novels (Across a Hundred Mountains, 2006; Dancing with Butterflies, 2009) to tell the story of her life in this touching and enormously personal memoir. Raised in a small Mexican village after her parents journeyed illegally to the U.S. in search of work, Grande and her siblings were alternately raised by their abusive paternal grandparents and their poverty-stricken maternal grandmother. Filled with stories of hunger and sorrow, Grande's recollections focus on the tension of the Mexican-American border through the eyes of those left behind, bringing a whole new definition to what it means to grow up in a broken home. The poignant yet triumphant tale she tells of her childhood and eventual illegal immigration puts a face on issues that stir vehement debate. Grande is affecting and sincere, but her use of dialogue in the chronicling of some of her very early memories can be disconcerting in terms of veracity. Still, the powerful emotions and important story will carry readers along.--Mondor, Colleen Copyright 2010 Booklist

Excerpts

Prologue Reyna, at age two M Y FATHER'S MOTHER, Abuela Evila, liked to scare us with stories of La Llorona, the weeping woman who roams the canal and steals children away. She would say that if we didn't behave, La Llorona would take us far away where we would never see our parents again. My other grandmother, Abuelita Chinta, would tell us not to be afraid of La Llorona; that if we prayed, God, La Virgen, and the saints would protect us from her. Neither of my grandmothers told us that there is something more powerful than La Llorona--a power that takes away parents, not children. It is called The United States. In 1980, when I was four years old, I didn't know yet where the United States was or why everyone in my hometown of Iguala, Guerrero, referred to it as El Otro Lado, the Other Side. What I knew back then was that El Otro Lado had already taken my father away. What I knew was that prayers didn't work, because if they did, El Otro Lado wouldn't be taking my mother away, too. Prologue Reyna, at age two M Y FATHER'S MOTHER, Abuela Evila, liked to scare us with stories of La Llorona, the weeping woman who roams the canal and steals children away. She would say that if we didn't behave, La Llorona would take us far away where we would never see our parents again. My other grandmother, Abuelita Chinta, would tell us not to be afraid of La Llorona; that if we prayed, God, La Virgen, and the saints would protect us from her. Neither of my grandmothers told us that there is something more powerful than La Llorona--a power that takes away parents, not children. It is called The United States. In 1980, when I was four years old, I didn't know yet where the United States was or why everyone in my hometown of Iguala, Guerrero, referred to it as El Otro Lado, the Other Side. What I knew back then was that El Otro Lado had already taken my father away. What I knew was that prayers didn't work, because if they did, El Otro Lado wouldn't be taking my mother away, too. Excerpted from The Distance Between Us: A Memoir by Reyna Grande All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.