Playing hurt : my journey from despair to hope / John Saunders with New York Times bestselling author John U. Bacon ; foreword by Mitch Albom.
Material type:
TextPublisher: New York : Da Capo Press, 2017Edition: First editionDescription: xxv, 293 pages, 8 unnumbered pages of plates : illustrations ; 24 cmContent type: - text
- unmediated
- volume
- 9780306824739
- 0306824736
- 796.092 B 23
| Item type | Current library | Collection | Call number | Status | Date due | Barcode | Item holds | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Book
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Bedford Public Library Biography | Biography | BIO SAUNDERS SAU | Available | 32500001732602 |
Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:
For the first time ever, the popular late host of ESPN's The Sports Reporters and ABC's college football openly discusses a lifelong battle with depression.
During his three decades on ESPN and ABC, John Saunders became one of the nation's most respected and beloved sportscasters. In this moving, jarring, and ultimately inspiring memoir, Saunders discusses his troubled childhood, the traumatic brain injury he suffered in 2011, and the severe depression that nearly cost him his life. As Saunders writes,
Playing Hurt is not an autobiography of a sports celebrity but a memoir of a man facing his own mental illness, and emerging better off for the effort. I will take you into the heart of my struggle with depression, including insights into some of its causes, its consequences, and its treatments.
I invite you behind the facade of my apparently "perfect" life as a sportscaster, with a wonderful wife and two healthy, happy adult daughters. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am truly grateful. But none of these things can protect me or anyone else from the disease of depression and its potentially lethal effects.
Mine is a rare story: that of a black man in the sports industry openly grappling with depression. I will share the good, the bad, and the ugly, including the lengths I've gone to to conceal my private life from the public.
So why write a book? Because I want to end the pain and heartache that comes from leading a double life. I also want to reach out to the millions of people, especially men, who think they're alone and can't ask for help.
John Saunders died suddenly on August 10, 2016, from an enlarged heart, diabetes, and other complications. This book is his ultimate act of generosity to help those who suffer from mental illness, and those who love them.
Preface: Looking over the edge -- Introduction -- Part one. Growing up the hard way -- An oasis of love -- An indecent proposal -- Playing with fire -- He ain't heavy -- The salvation of sports -- Looking for a little relief -- My two selves -- The drug business -- Hurting myself -- Part two. Trying to build a better life -- Moving out, moving on, moving back -- Falling in love -- Go west -- Getting married -- Country John Saunders -- Chasing a new dream -- Making it in Moncton -- Bright lights, big city -- Big man in Baltimore -- A family of my own -- The worldwide leader -- Our sister -- Livin' in America -- Part three. The façade cracks -- The psych ward -- Dr. Dangerous -- Falling backward -- Scaling Mt. Sinai -- Learning to walk -- A high-stakes stroll in the park -- Ready for prime time? -- Testing, testing -- Part four. Collision course -- The damage of Doctor Dangerous revealed -- Let the bad times roll -- Stumbling toward unhappiness -- A day in the doldrums -- Peering over the Tappan Zee Bridge -- Back to the bridge -- Crunch time -- You've got to admit it's getting better -- Jimmy V, Dickie V, and cardio V -- Learning the best lesson.
A candid memoir by the late ESPN and ABC Sports broadcaster reveals his longtime battle with depression and his investigations into modern medical and homeopathic treatments, exploring how the disease affected his career and relationships.
Reviews provided by Syndetics
Library Journal Review
An excellent athlete in his youth, for the past 25 years ESPN mainstay Saunders (1955-2016) had enjoyed his roles as a journalist and commentator, watching and discussing sports. Then he suffered setbacks, including an accidental fall in the studio that resulted in a traumatic brain injury and a later heart attack. Less obvious but more damaging was the clinical depression that had haunted him since a childhood fraught with abuse, ultimately leading him a few months before his heart attack to peer over the edge of the Tappan Zee Bridge and ponder jumping. This personal account seeks to address his depression in hopes of reaching others, especially African American men like himself who may be hesitant to analyze or discuss their feelings. With the help of counseling and medication, Saunders kept his depression at bay. However, he died shortly after finishing his first draft of this posthumously published memoir. VERDICT For sports fans and anyone who has struggled with depression.-Jim Burns, formerly with Jacksonville P.L., FL © Copyright 2017. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.Booklist Review
Saunders, who passed away at 61 in 2016, was a highly respected ESPN broadcaster who always brought good-humored enthusiasm to his work. So it may come as a surprise to most readers to learn that Saunders battled severe clinical depression most of his life. This moving chronicle of his struggle with the disease was gently revised to include details of his death. As he states early on, he was ashamed he kept his depression hidden and thought telling his story might help others battling the same disease. At various times, Saunders' condition led to suicidal thoughts, self-harm, drug abuse, and troubles with intimacy. Yet he kept going, having a successful career, raising a family, and finding some level of peace. In one of the most harrowing episodes, Saunders recounts his lengthy recovery from cognitive damage incurred after a fainting spell. Readers will ache for him as he struggles to overcome brain trauma while still battling depression. This is a tough read; there's a lot of pain on the pages. But, as Saunders promised in his preface, there's a kind of hope as well.--Lukowsky, Wes Copyright 2017 BooklistKirkus Book Review
The late ESPN host and commentator recounts years of struggle with mental illness.Saunders (1955-2016) died of what co-writer Bacon (Endzone: The Rise, Fall, and Return of Michigan Football, 2015, etc.) describes as "a combination of enlarged heart, complications from his diabetes, and dysautonomia, which affects the automatic nervous system that regulates breathing, blood pressure, and heart rate." In other words, he died at 61 of what are generally considered natural causes. The hardships Saunders recounts here are of a more existential nature: abused as a child, he grew up dependent on drugs and alcohol, more than once contemplating suicide: "I preferred fantasizing about dying in spectacular fashion than planning how I might actually do it." Though inclined to self-belittlement rather than self-aggrandizement, he was also a formidable hockey player who didn't mind the brutality of the sport. One key passage describes a series of maneuvers that by all rights should have led to banishment: "to understand a cross-check, imagine gripping a broomstick with your hands about three feet apart, then using the middle portion to smash someone's face while he's skating toward you." Deciding he was better suited to the other side of the glass, Saunders worked his way through the ranks of sports reporting and announcing, beginning with a minor station in New Brunswick and ending up at the pinnacle, ESPN. Even there, he writes, he contemplated leaping from the Tappan Zee bridge and ending his unhappiness. Of as much interest as his difficulties are his efforts to overcome illness, from cognitive therapy to medication and hospitalization; some of it worked, at least for a while, but much did not. Saunders writes without much flair but with plenty of awareness. "Depression allows you to have incredible insights into other people's souls yet still be incapable of transferring those insights to your own situation," he writesthough the chief point of his tale is that insight can come, if at a price. A story that merits both sympathy and attention. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.Author notes provided by Syndetics
John U. Bacon has won numerous national writing awards & now freelances for "Sports Illustrated", "Time", "ESPN Magazine", & the "New York Times", among others.(Publisher Provided)