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The Hike

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From the author of The Postmortal, a fantasy saga unlike any you’ve read before, weaving elements of folk tale and video game into a riveting, unforgettable adventure of what a man will endure to return to his family
 
When Ben, a suburban family man, takes a business trip to rural Pennsylvania, he decides to spend the afternoon before his dinner meeting on a short hike. Once he sets out into the woods behind his hotel, he quickly comes to realize that the path he has chosen cannot be given up easily. With no choice but to move forward, Ben finds himself falling deeper and deeper into a world of man-eating giants, bizarre demons, and colossal insects.
 
On a quest of epic, life-or-death proportions, Ben finds help comes in some of the most unexpected forms, including a profane crustacean and a variety of magical objects, tools, and potions. Desperate to return to his family, Ben is determined to track down the “Producer,” the creator of the world in which he is being held hostage and the only one who can free him from the path.
 
At once bitingly funny and emotionally absorbing, Magary’s novel is a remarkably unique addition to the contemporary fantasy genre, one that draws as easily from the world of classic folk tales as it does from video games. In The Hike, Magary takes readers on a daring odyssey away from our day-to-day grind and transports them into an enthralling world propelled by heart, imagination, and survival.

278 pages, Hardcover

First published August 2, 2016

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About the author

Drew Magary

10 books1,005 followers
Drew Magary is a correspondent for GQ Magazine, a columnist for Deadspin, and a Chopped Champion. He’s also the author of four books: The Hike, The Postmortal, Someone Could Get Hurt, and Men With Balls. He lives in Maryland with his wife and three children, and enjoys taking long walks.

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5 stars
7,211 (34%)
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3 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 3,132 reviews
Profile Image for Jessica Woodbury.
1,715 reviews2,464 followers
August 8, 2016
I heard a few rumblings about The Hike from people I trust so I ignored the blurb that made it sound like not really my thing. (A man who'll do anything to return to his family? Snooze.) No offense to the marketing team of this book but you should avoid reading the summary. Completely. Here is what you need to know about this book: you never know what will happen next.

It is very hard to pull off any kind of story where the entire plot is built on doing things the reader does not expect. Because eventually you're going to find a rhythm and start anticipating the surprises, right? But somehow Magary manages to gradually explain the structure of his book to you and still catch you off guard on a regular basis.

Within 10 minutes of reading I cursed aloud, which is not a thing I do. I do not talk while I read. But I was shocked. And I am not easily shocked. And the shocks kept coming.

It's also worth saying, this book has the best ending I've read all year. Honestly it's the best one in recent memory. An ending that is both incredibly satisfying and a total gut punch.

Highly recommended. You don't have to be a fantasy reader to enjoy this book, because it does not follow the rules or tropes of the genre. It is its own thing, all you need is some curiosity and a willingness to hold on and go for a ride.
Profile Image for Philip.
527 reviews792 followers
March 31, 2017
4ish stars.

More than a week later and I'm still trying to figure what exactly I read here. Here's what I know:

1) It was pretty funny. Laugh out loud in a couple spots and I'm not a laugh-out-louder (laugher-out-loud?)
2) It was pretty weird. Talking crabs and sexy giantesses are among the best supporting characters and I still don't know why they had to be crabs and giantesses. Kind of felt like Magary was just making up weird, random stuff as he was going along. "Hmm... let's throw in a talking crab cuz why not."

Now that I think about it, those are the only two things I really know... Maybe there's a meaning to everything in it and there's a deep allegorical message. Definitely some people have found one. I can kind of understand where they're coming from, that everyone goes through their own personal "hike" that represents the trials and joys of life and accepting and understanding them all. And there is that ending.

But at the same time it felt pretty random to me. And a deep allegorical message doesn't seem consistent with the tone of the book as a whole. I kind of prefer thinking there was never actually any point or message intended and we can all just take from it what we want to. Wouldn't that be hilarious? :)
Profile Image for J.L.   Sutton.
666 reviews1,067 followers
October 10, 2022
“Every book was a door; every page a new place to hide.”

Book Review: 'The Hike,' By Drew Magary : NPR

Drew Magary's The Hike was sometimes interesting and quirky, often in the beginning a bit nightmarish. That said, nothing really felt connected to me. Clearly, The Hike is meant to be episodic, a protagonist struggling against the strange circumstances he's been tossed into in his attempt to find his way back home. I guess, though, I couldn't find myself rooting for him. With that gone, everything (until the very end) seemed random.
Profile Image for Justin Tate.
Author 7 books1,092 followers
September 4, 2020
Twists and surprises on every page. Deserves shelf space next to Alice in Wonderland, The Odyssey, and other epic adventures. The outlandish plot will turn off realists, but the story is not without literary merit. The absurdity takes on symbolic significance and reveals itself as more profound than it seems. Popcorn entertainment at the surface level, but philosophical and wise on the deep end.

One of my more memorable reading experiences and a title I recommend often. Check it out!
Profile Image for Bradley.
Author 4 books4,346 followers
March 6, 2017
Amazing. If any of you are looking for a pure adventure of unrivaled creativity and depth transformed from utter normality to strangeness and then topped off with a great ethical and moral conclusion topped off at the end, delivered with a really strong emotional punch to the gut, then look no further.

The hike feels, at first, like a silly and sometimes rather funny adventure, starting off with a hike during a business trip. But then it soon becomes a fantasy-land and terror-strewn nightmare and then we're treated to a wonderful reversal-filled surprise after surprise.

What this isn't, even though it's written light and fast and funny, is a strictly light and fast and funny adventure. It's dark and it's soulful and it not only touches upon the idea of what Home is, but it also explores Determinism and its converse, transforming a crazy hike into a nearly spiritual exploration of The Path, whatever the path is. Our personal journey? Perhaps Journey? Regardless, it's so much more and it's a true delight to have read this.

I honestly didn't expect it to turn out this good or this deep. Bravo! My faith in humanity is restored. My faith that wildly imaginative literature continues to be written, and written fearlessly, and all the while a great Tale is told as well.

Go Ben!

Anyone want crabcakes?

I totally recommend this for EVERYONE. It's just that good. :)



"The man who sailed around his soul
From East to West, from pole to pole
With ego as his drunken captain
Greed, the mutineer, had trapped all reason in the hold

The man who walked across his heart
Who took no compass, guide or chart
To rope and tar his blood congealed
When he found his self revealed ugly and cold"

-Andy Partridge, XTC, "The Man Who Sailed Around His Soul"

Profile Image for Librarian Laci.
50 reviews8 followers
December 29, 2016
What. on. earth did I just read? This book was awesome in it's sheer weirdness. Highly recommended for getting someone out of a book rut or if you're up for something a "little different". A mind-altering bildungsroman for adults. And you really can't go wrong with a foul-mouthed crab as a side-kick.
 photo foul crab_zpsw4iennn8.gif

At first I was like
 photo wtf_zpsdg7vbvfj.gif

But the end was like
 photo Owl shock_zpsxgxzwajc.gif
Profile Image for Ryan Odom.
51 reviews1 follower
August 19, 2016
Imagine asking a three year old to tell you a story. The beginning makes since when the kid starts with "Once upon a time..." and the ending is logically tied to the beginning, "They lived happily ever after", but everything in between in nonsense and has no rhyme or reason.

That's what reading "The Hike" by Drew Magary is like. It starts with Ben taking a hike in the woods behind his hotel while away on a business trip. Then all kinds of weird things begin happening to him with scenes transitioning from one to the next with no reason behind them. One minute, he is in the woods. Suddenly, he falls in a hole and lands on the beach. Finally when the end (finally) comes, we get a little treat...and I mean little....that ties it to the beginning.

This could have been a 75-100 page book and everyone could have gotten the whole premise, but it feels like the author and/or publisher wanted to push it to close to 300 for no good reason other than to sell a book. "Just fill the middle with more weird crap. It doesn't matter what it is or if it makes sense." "Ok. I can do that."

I say avoid the book and find something else.
Profile Image for Lata.
4,026 reviews224 followers
March 7, 2017
1.5 stars since I did read the whole thing, instead of abandoning it, which I strongly considered several times. That was a long under 300 pages story. I was bored by page 60 or so, but kept reading, hoping I'd be entertained. Nope. The best paragraph in the book is on the last page, which reminds the reader of something Teresa said to Ben a while before the whole path nonsense.
Profile Image for Mogsy.
2,120 reviews2,680 followers
August 25, 2016
4 of 5 stars at The BiblioSanctum https://bibliosanctum.com/2016/08/25/...

The best description I can come up with for my mind-bending experience I had with this book can be summed up in the words of Jerry Garcia: “What a long, strange trip it’s been.” I had initially agreed to review The Hike with no small amount of trepidation, fearing that it might be too “weird” for my tastes. Can you blame me, though? I don’t even how I’ll do my usual novel summary for this review, because pretty sure anything I say will sound like the mad ramblings of someone on a bad acid trip, but here goes nothing:

Ben is a suburban middle-aged family man who takes a business trip up to rural Pennsylvania and books himself into his hotel. Before heading out to his dinner meeting though, he decides to explore around the area with a short hike. He sets off into the nearby woods, following a path he has chosen. Before long, he is beset upon by hulking man wearing the skinned-off face of a dog as a mask. Then there are more of them after him. Or something. Ben ends up running away, stumbling upon a campsite among the trees, and suddenly he is in his twenties again, staring into the face of his old college girlfriend. They sleep together and Ben wakes up. He’s back to his normal thirty-eight-year-old self again, with all his correct memories. But he’s still in the woods, and the girl is gone. All that’s left is a note at the empty camp which reads: “Stay on the path, or you will die.”

Ben stays on the path, all right. The book goes on for a bit longer in this vein. Along the way, he meets a talking crab, who lends him help. Then he’s kidnapped by a man-eating giantess named Fermona, who forces him to fight Rottweiler-men and dwarves in her gladiatorial arena. Up to this point, all Ben wants is to find his way back home to his wife and kids. But soon, he is given a mission: to find someone known as The Producer, supposedly the creator of this crazy world he’s found himself in. The “story”, as it is, keeps going on like this, as Ben spirals deeper into despair, wondering if he’ll ever see his family again.

I don’t usually go for books like this, so in case you’re wondering why I decided to give The Hike a try despite the publisher description clearly indicating that this will be a totally insane and off-the-wall experience, it was because of two words that jumped out at me: video games. Try as I might, I can never resist any novel with a video gaming, and I was also really curious to see how Drew Magary would weave together elements from video game and folk tale as the blurb suggests. Indeed, what we have here is completely unprecedented. Admittedly, the story does play out in a style somewhat reminiscent of those classic text-based adventure computer games, but I have to say unless you’re going into this using Catherine as a baseline for trippiness, this one is going to be WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD.

Typically, I prefer my stories to have a semblance of structure, as opposed to, say, just a random string of events thrown together—which was initially how this book came across. But just as I was starting to really regret my choice, Crab happened. Yes, Crab. To explain would be to give up spoilers, so all I’ll say is that my time with Crab changed everything. By the end of Part I of The Hike I wanted to cry. The revelation revealed there made me understand something about this book, like maybe there’s actually some rhythm to this madness, or maybe the madness is just the point.

At this point in my review, I actually had several more paragraphs planned. After some consideration, I nixed them. It was going to boil down to more commentary on why The Hike was so weird and wonderful, and why despite its kookiness I still enjoyed it a lot. I realized given the circumstances of this book, that’s all immaterial. It’ll either work or it won’t, and I don’t want to run the risk of potentially predisposing would-be readers if I make further attempts to describe its themes or to compare the story to something else, because any more would be revealing and that would remove a lot of the magic.

So throw everything you think you know about this book out the window. Even though it incorporates a number of elements from spec fic genres, at the end of the day it doesn’t matter; it’s going to do its own thing. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the moment I let go of my preconceptions was also when I started really enjoying myself. There is truly no guessing where things will go, and once you relinquish the reins and simply let this baby take you where it will, The Hike will delight you and enchant you and move you. I’m really glad I took a chance on this special gem.
Profile Image for Michael Britt.
171 reviews1,993 followers
May 30, 2017
I don't even know where to begin. This was one of the most pointless books I've read. I hate being mean in book reviews, but oh well. You know how when a toddler tells you a story and it turns out to be a bunch of random nonsensical events? It's just a jumble of what the child thinks sounds cool at the time. That is literally this book. If it wasn't so short, I probably would've just not finished it. But it was still about 200 pages longer than it should've been. The ending was pretty easy to guess at, too. All-in-all, if you have another book to read, any other book, read that one
Profile Image for E..
294 reviews46 followers
August 13, 2016
For what this was (and I don't really know what it was) it was good.
Fantasy or Sci-Fi, not really. Horror, kinda but nope. Humor, yeah but no. Adventure, definitely.
Every single chapter was a surprise, a twist, craziness.

Like if David Wong wrote Pilgrim's Progress...or Alice in Wonderland..or The Road..or a really long episode of The Twilight Zone. It's a mash-up, but wholly unique.

And that was THE BEST ending to a book. Satisfying. Like a low "whoa..." with a smile on your face.
Profile Image for Ron.
414 reviews108 followers
September 29, 2016
Some books come along and unexpectedly push the happy button. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. Maybe it was the fun, the weirdness, the absolute difference and unpredictability within its pages. Most likely, it was all of that combined. Whatever. It’s not the reason that matters. It’s the result.

Here’s the beginning of the story: Ben, a thirty-eight year old travelling vendor, husband, and father of three children steps out the back door of the latest hotel he is visiting in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania and onto a hiking trail that will become a nightmare, a fantasy, a quest and definitely a mystery for both him and the reader. Between this point and the end of the book, there were some of the funniest and wackiest moments that I’ve read in a long time. To me that equaled = good. The thing with a book like this, all fun could be monotonous. Thankfully, Ben’s path was tempered with some heartbreaking occurrences which brought depth and with it a meaningful purpose to his journey. Being fully truthful, there was a moment, still early in, that I thought this hike was simply becoming a left step followed by the right, but then the crab came along. A brilliant move on the part of the author. And that’s all I can say about that.

( Dad speaking to son): ”No, I mean I’m fucked up. But I got my reasons. I know I never did anything good for you, Ben. But just remember that everything bad can be made good if you know how to use it.”


The end may not be what you expect it to be. I expected an analogy. I did not get one, not exactly anyway. Yeah well, expecting is like assuming, and we all know that little saying about the word assume. One more thing to share: There came a point, near the end, that I couldn’t help but picture George Bailey running down the street of Bedford Falls yelling, ”Hello Emporium! Hello, you old Building and Loan!” Happy button engaged. Enough said.

Stay on the Path.
Profile Image for Paul.
Author 115 books9,606 followers
June 12, 2017
What a fun, wacky, and surprisingly moving book. I listened to the audio while walking my dog (so not a Rottweiler) in the woods for extra hot sauce reading karma. Early you'll think it's going one way, which would've been fine, but then it goes another better way. And with a crab. More crab please.

Oh, and here's a book that cleverly riffs on what playing a quest video game without beating you over the head with see-how-clever-i-am references to video games. Not naming names.

Anyway, read it. Adventure and comedy and darkness and metaphor, and just plain fun too. I said that already but it is fun.
Profile Image for Matt Quann.
685 reviews406 followers
August 31, 2017
The Hike is one of those books for which I had high expectations, but ended up falling short. Since I didn't despise the book, I'm going to keep it relatively brief. If you want the headline review: it wasn't for me, but for you, it just might be the cat's meow.

Ben, our lead, goes out for a hike and ends up on this surreal fantastical journey. I'd been expecting a cohesive tale with a tidy ending, but the book is much more random than that. At times, I found myself wondering if Magary wasn't just letting his mind randomly associate to plot the book. At first it's a murder, but then the giant appears on the stage, and by the time the pseudo-vampire arrives I was bowled over by how silly the whole thing becomes.

At first, I wondered if Ben might have been assimilated into some AI who was playing him like a video game (seriously, it's an odd book). The answer at the novel's end, for me, was a big let down that added to my frustration with the disjointed storyline. Of course, Ben mirrors the audience in many scenes, expressing his incredulity of the proceedings.

With that said, my buddy who recommended the book had a lot of great things to say about this read. He also advised me against the audiobook, though I had already discharged my audible credit towards its purchase. The narrator is okay, but not my favourite. He does the various characters' voices well, but I didn't care for his moment to moment narration. Crab is, as any talking crab should be, terrifically crusty.

Look, if the premise of a dude tripping on some life-altering trip through a mad world sounds like your kettle of fish, I'd say give The Hike a shake. It comes with the warning that it is all a bit of silliness with a veneer of seriousness.

Thanks to Jaden Daley for the rec!

[2.5 Stars]
Profile Image for Liz.
193 reviews59 followers
February 7, 2017
Someone must have slipped a magic mushroom into my dinner; there is no other way to explain the trip I’ve been on! This book is exactly what I needed to read this week and I found it very difficult to put down.

If you had asked me three days ago, I'd have told you this book is probably not my cup of tea since I’m not all that big on fantasy. But my Goodreads BFAM had given it a fun and positive review and I thought what the heck? Boy am I glad I listened to him. Again!

Trippy. Macabre. Madcap. I don’t know how else to describe it. Ben is an extraordinary character and I loved worrying about him and rooting for him throughout all his nightmarish adventures.

This book gives a whole new meaning to the word “crabby.” And the ending…

Far. Out.
Profile Image for Sunny.
749 reviews4,493 followers
July 18, 2021
Holy shit that was so weird and wonderful and weird...! The cover art plus the story makes me want to purchase a physical copy of this book immediately. Wow. I'm stunned
Profile Image for James Beech.
114 reviews28 followers
August 31, 2016
To be fantasy, you must have magic. To have magic, you must have the mundane (that which is not magic). This book does not have the mundane. Therefore it does not have magic and is not fantasy; I would probably describe it as surrealist. Not a complaint, really, just an observation. We'll get to the complaints in a minute.

This book also does not have a plot. A plot relies on some measure of cause and effect. "The queen died and then the king died," is not a plot. "The queen died and so the king died of grief," is a plot. But nothing in this damn book happens because of anything else. Things just happen, one after another, and mostly these things are quite unpleasant. They don't have a great deal of meaning though, even when it is revealed that they are coming from the protagonist's own subconscious (a twist that any reader with half a brain will have seen coming from a mile away), because they are always devoid of consequences.

The only bits that are more than tolerable are the stretches of banter, when the protagonist is with one of his two temporary traveling companions. These are marred however by the writer's inability to stick to the close third-person style of narration he has chosen. The sudden shifts and reversals of perspective that result are disorienting without being especially illuminating. And of course both traveling companions are later revealed to be extensions of (you guessed it) the protagonist's own subconscious, so the whole thing seems rather masturbatory.

There is a payoff of sorts at the end; it is revealed that, unbeknownst to the protagonist, his wife has recently undergone a similar ordeal. Now presumably, they will be able to connect better and to comfort each other. This is reasonably clever and would be quite a satisfactory payoff for the conclusion of a ten page short story. For a novel, not so much. That, actually, may be the basic problem here. This novel, isn't. It's just a short story that, like a colony of cancerous cells, has grown out of all control or proportion.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Brandon Baker.
Author 2 books6,602 followers
July 31, 2022
What a confusing, ridiculous, over the top journey! Definitely one of the weirdest things I’ve read recently. It’s very confusing and hard to get into at first, but once I hit around page 40 I was hooked. This has lots of very unique imagery and made me laugh out loud a couple times. I think the best way I could describe it is if Chuck Palhinuik wrote Alice In Wonderland!!
Profile Image for Sarah.
740 reviews72 followers
March 2, 2017
This was awesomely weird and I loved it completely. I even had a wacky quote about about demons and dustbusters but I accidentally deleted it off my phone...

Ben goes out of town for a work related trip and when he arrives he decides to go for a hike. A whole series of weird events happen along the way, from blue crabs to magical beans, not to mention gigantic crickets with homicidal intentions. Okay, it's occasionally gross, but always in that gag-laughing way. I was quite helpless with inappropriate laughter several times.
Profile Image for Evelina | AvalinahsBooks.
896 reviews449 followers
June 27, 2019
Wow. Two things. First, The Hike is high as all hell on something. Second, its absolutely bloody brilliant.

The Hike isn't a book for everyone. There will be a lot of people who will finish it with a "wtf did I just read", or DNF it for the same reason. But at the same time, it's got so much potential for 5 stars from a lot of you. Basically, I feel like you'll either love it or hate it. I wasn't sure about it myself for at least half of the book, but then it started going steadily up and up.

Here's why I can recommend it: (read the full review here)

me reading the oracle year

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Profile Image for Danger.
Author 34 books687 followers
February 6, 2017
Picked this up on a whim as I was walking out of the library. Never heard of the book, or the author, but the cover was cool and the synopsis sounded interesting. And, it turns out, it WAS interesting.

A man on a hike wanders down a path and finds himself in a land of Carrollesque absurdities. He must then go on an epically weird journey to get back home to his family.

At points, the central metaphor seems to get muddied by the random and bizarre things that keep happening, but the novel constantly course corrects, and fluid and playful prose, along with the short chapters, keep the story rolling along. There’s a lot of wisdom in this pages. A lot to be learned about our pasts and futures. And any lingering thoughts of “this is all just randomness” lessen and lessen as the story (and our hero’s quest) continues on. By the time you reach the end, the payoff is there. The metaphor holds.

This was a fun book and I’m glad I took a chance on it.
Profile Image for Amanda.
1,148 reviews258 followers
March 21, 2017
1.5 stars

I like weird, I like disturbing, I like WTF moments in books but this, no this just did not work for me. Some of my friends have loved this so I'm going to drop this one in the 'not for me' pile and move on.

I will say that the audio narration was really good. I had a fairly minor complaint about one of the character's voice but overall the narration is what kept this from being a DNF, well and that it was short :-)
Profile Image for Deniz.
1,180 reviews100 followers
August 1, 2016
This is quite interesting, because basically I like a lot about this book, but I didn't particularly enjoy reading it...
Which is kinda left me wondering, how does one rate a book. Let's face it, we all do it mostly subjective, though I like to think that I am quite objective, I can be honest and admit, in the end it's all about how much I really enjoyed reading a book.
And here is the crux when it comes to my rating of the Hike. I kinda didn't care that much for it actually.
Well, let me explain. This is well written. Really well written. Magary is brilliant at descriptions, I love his sense of humor and I like his writing style.
The plot is .. wacky. I kinda adult weird surreal take on Alice in Wonderland. And in some ways it reminded me of Kafka. The end was brilliant, btw.
The world building, was probably my favorite thing about this, again wacky Alic comes to mind. It's realistic in a surrealist kind of way. Really great.

When I finished I felt like my mind got twisted somehow odd but fun... and yet I gave it three stars.
Because while I think this is quite clever, even rather brilliant at times, I didn't enjoy reading this that much. And I can't tell you why. I really don't know. I found myself wondering how much I have left in the book, rather early on and it kept recurring. I didn't connect much to the characters, which I don't think has much to do with the character building, but simply with my likes and quirks. So basically, while in theory this should have been at least a 4 Star book for me, I don't think I would have finished it if I didn't get the ARC. Saying that, I was thinking that it would make a fantastic movie, I totally would love it.. I think.
Back to how to rate? Or even more important why do we love books... I have currently no clear answer to this, would you have asked me a couple of days ago- I would have told you it all starts with a writing style I like, good character building, great balance between an interesting plot and imaginary world building. Now after having read the Hike though, considering my reaction, I gotta say sometimes I just love books, even if they are less then perfect and other times they just don't 'do' it for me.
The hike is sadly a it-isn't-you-it's-me case. But I would encourage lovers of the genre to read it. Because really it is a clever, imaginative and well written book.
Profile Image for 1-Click Addict Support Group.
3,749 reviews481 followers
August 8, 2016
This book is everything. No, literally. It is every horror and hope and human weakness and strength all rolled into one crazy ride. I couldn't put it down. There was so much going on, so many unanswered questions, so many possibilities that I was afraid to look away from the pages for even a moment. It felt as if, while my attention was diverted, The Hike was going to take on a life of its own and change the story on me, or have all been just a wild dream.

I mostly read it sitting outside in a hammock, in the woods, by a lake. This was perhaps not the best place to read, as it made the terror seem just a little closer to home. I found myself looking up at every rustle and checking over my shoulder. One particular scene, featuring a horrific type of cricket prominent in my area, left me a little extra jumpy on my late night walks to the bathhouse. I'll never feel the same way going down into my basement either.

The characters were so real. So weird. But no less real. I thought about never looking at crab legs the same way again, but eh, they're delicious. As the sun set, and we lit our fire, I still read through. This was a one day, almost one sitting read for me. Like a speeding train, it flew from scene to scene with a head spinning intensity making it not so much difficult to follow, but bringing it a little more into the reality of the character.

I absolutely did not see that ending coming, but I read the last sentence and shouted ‘Perfect! F___ing perfect!’ It was awesome. Now go. Read it! ~ George, 5 What the F@&% stars
202 reviews6 followers
July 1, 2016
Oh my fucking god. Just.

Oh. my. fucking. god. this book. Wtffffffffffff.

(Edit: looking over this, I'm kinda super spoilery in this review so honestly, don't read the spoiler tags. Go into this without knowing. Resist the urge. It will be so much better that way.)

I think I spent five minutes cackling at the ending because omfg. Omfggggg.

I'll admit it, before I got to the last couple of chapters I probably would have given this book about 2.5 stars. I've been describing it as if someone put the Odyssey (or insert Bildungsroman of your choice here) and a B-movie gorefest into a blender to see what would happen. There were times I had to take a break because I felt a little queasy from Ben's experiences on the path (which is kind of impressive because I think I have a pretty high tolerance for violent imagery in books) and then there were the times I started lapsing back into English major mode trying to figure out if there was an underlying metaphor at work here . But about midway through, I got more interested and the ending? Oh, the ending. Oh, you made it all worthwhile. I've been reading a bunch of new things and this is the first book in a while that made me want to flail at people in the hopes that they would go read it.

Basic premise? Never go hiking in the Poconos ever. :D

There is a lot packed into this book but it's a quick read without using too many cliffhangers. Magary's writing is quick, accessible and just descriptive enough and the little bursts of humor help balance out the awful experiences Ben faces on the path. I don't think I would classify this book as horror, although there are parts that are horrific and there are elements of horror in some of the characters. The Hike is more of a modern quest than a creepy story. Ben himself was kind of annoying in the beginning, but over time I really began to root for him.



Many, many thanks to Viking and Netgalley for the ARC e-copy in exchange for a review.
Profile Image for Suzanne.
94 reviews48 followers
September 15, 2016
An oddball and crazy adventure, one man's fall down the rabbit hole of the 21st century, The Hike is unlike anything else. It's somewhat challenging to describe this book because of just how trippy it is.

Ben is a normal suburban family man on a business trip to Pennsylvania, but things don't stay normal for very long. He checks into his hotel, and looking to kill some time before his meeting, ventures out on a path to take a hike, after being advised by the hotel clerk that there is no hiking path. This doesn't strike him as strange: like most any 21st century man, he assumes that he knows best, takes his phone for guidance (oh, the woes of placing so much trust in technology), and heads out to explore. Before he knows what hit him, his phone is refusing to work properly, and he's being chased by homicidal men in Rottweiler masks.

A carnival of horrors modern mashup of Alice In Wonderland/Jack and the Beanstalk/The Wizard of Oz ensues. The Rottweiler men are just the first of many inexplicable things that Ben encounters. He runs into an old flame he hasn't seen in years, and this encounter will haunt him for some time to come. She provides him with cryptic advice before disappearing into thin air, gone when he wakes up in the morning. Before long, he befriends a crabby crab - a literal crab that can talk and poke fun at him, a sort of perverted and hilarious take on Sebastian from Disney's The Little Mermaid. The talking crab and Ben become allies out of necessity, but there's more to it than that.

Magary manages to make this cleverer and cleverer as the pages fly by, tying the twists and turns of The Path back to events in Ben's past, making the reader guess if this is all transpiring in Ben's head, or something he's impossibly experiencing, one way or another. There are nightmarish flying villains that can kill with a single glance, magic beans that will only help at the right moment, cannibalistic giants, hotels that seem worthy of a Stephen King classic, witches, evil clouds and spider zombies, visions of the end of the world, a 15th century Spanish explorer - the weirdness keeps on coming full speed, but it never seems like too much. It's the best kind of all you can eat buffet weird.

4.5/5 stars for originality, twists, and one of the most satisfying endings I've come across in a long time. An amazing ride. I'd love to read a companion piece or sequel.
Profile Image for Adam Cagle.
115 reviews4 followers
October 13, 2016
Warning... this review will contain hate filled cursing.

What the fuck did I just read? Morbid curiosity led me to finish this hunk of crap in the hopes that it went somewhere redeeming... it fucking didn't. The author had obviously read some Christopher Moore and thought, oohhhh, I should write a funny book with whimsical characters of a fantastic nature, I bet I'd be really good at it... well, he's fucking not. Maybe he thought if I write something simple and meandering like Old Man in the Sea, all the meaning from the CLiff's Notes on Old Man in the Sea will magically jump into my novel...again.. fucking didn't. Without going into a long diatribe about what sort of dolt agrees to publish this, I'll simply satisfy myself by assuming that Drew Magary either has pictures of this publisher falaciating a goat or he's a rich hermit that agreed to buy all the copies if the book was published. I only gave it one star because Good Reads hasn't seen fit to add an icon for a festering bag of camel shit... which I can only assume means no one at Good Reads has read this book. In the past I have pushed through bad books only to be rewarded in the conclusion... this book ended in just the same oafish and droll manner in which it began, and which it plodded on for the entire book. The characters are uselessly boring, the story is the sort of thing a 4 year old will make up on the fly until you finally just ask them to stop talking, and the plot... well I hope where ever the plot for this novel is gets horribly cold and full of wolves in the winter... a plot should be in a novel, not out galavanting the earth leaving hapless readers with a plotless tank of shit to read. The very fact that trees were killed to print this crap is simply put, a crime against humanity. They say the talented leave us too early which leads me to conclude Drew Magary may indeed be immortal. Do yourself a favor, if anyone gives you this book, pray it's the hardcover so you can beat them to death with it before burning the damn thing. Obviously some people liked it as it got a lot of good reviews... those people are liars, I hope... if humanity has sunk to the point of this being considered readable I think it's high time we considered extinction.
Profile Image for Kyle.
413 reviews570 followers
December 16, 2016
*December 16, 2016. I've updated my review to four stars. In my head, I'm constantly going back to this particular book, and I think the ending alone deserves the full four stars.*

This book was wildly inventive! The sense of imagination Mr. Magary possesses is wickedly vast (but still a bit too familiar). He has created a world of Rottweiler-faced serial killers, a whole universe within a path, potions that turn humans into crustaceans, demonic castles that hide the generically modern hotel lobbies within... It's all fairly neat, but that's where all the positive things I could say about it ends.. I'm a sucker for the weird and the abstract. The more absurd a novel is, the more I tend to love it. In the case of The Hike, however, it was just not good enough. Much of this novel felt, as I mentioned, overly familiar. Talking crabs, a world of two moons, giant insects, a range of undead beings, a "hero's quest" of magical and fucked up sorts... It all seemed too been there, done that. I don't think he pushed it hard enough into the realm of absurd... though he tried.

And all of the potential greatness is hindered by a lackluster MC. Usually, the main character is someone to root for. Ben, on the other hand, is fucking annoying. He's almost 40 years old, but is pretty much an average joe (average being the key word). He is also fairly immature. He spends a good amount of the novel being a complete smartass. It pissed me off every time he opened his mouth. I guess to most people Ben will make a great MC, but for me... there were far too few times where I could tolerate him. There were moments that could've shined if not for his grating personality. The author is wholly to blame for this, though, especially in his (Mr. Magary's) attempts at making this novel humorous. It wasn't. At least, my brand of humor is not that glaringly simpleminded. Maybe it'll make some readers chuckle, but for me, it was trying too hard (or not hard enough).

You may be wondering why then, I ended up giving this novel 4* stars, after having mainly listed reasons for less?

Well, here's the thing: For the last 2/3rd's of this book, I was more than ready to chalk it up to nothing more than a 2-star read. I was pretty much already wanting it over and done with, and thinking about what I would read next. 2 stars is what it would end up being. I was still prepared to do just that, that is, until the second to last page...

That ending threw me for a loop. Seriously: BEST. ENDING. EVER! I was pleasantly surprised, and that doesn't often happen. (Not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty goddamn perceptive). So, a helluva nifty ending helped bump this book up to a 4-star reading experience. No spoilers, obviously. Either read it, or don't. I couldn't care less now that it's over.
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