Amityville Ripper
– (2023) – A knife from the Amityville house lures Jack the Ripper to a rural party. The only saving grace to this fiasco is that everyone on and off screen is in on the joke that they’re making a bad movie. While this comedic attempt doesn’t entirely work, breaking the fourth wall is about as creative as these cruddy movies can get.
Mind Twister
– (1993) – Two women attempt to solve the mystery of a murderous psychiatrist. Doesn’t have a lot of bloodshed to hold attention, but the plethora of sleaze makes up for as much. This is certainly easy on the eyes, but the dialog is quite painful to the ears. Won’t win points for intelligence, but is somewhat pleasing nonetheless.
Don’t Look in the Basement 2
– (2015) – Doctors at an infamous mental facility deal with patients and their visions of a dark past. On the positive side, the is relatively well-made and the acting isn’t terrible. As for the rest? This is a blood and suspense free slog of one dragging scene after another. What it lacks in horror it makes up for with characters endlessly yelling at one another.
Things II
– (1998) – An author tells an aspiring writer two stories about a creature involved in a robbery and a creature involved in the disappearance of a model. A zero budget outing that will never win points for drama, but some of the acting is above average while the scant plots move quickly. Could have used more gore, but that would only have added to an already bleak budget.
Poor Things
– (2023) – A woman with a child’s brain tries to come to terms with her own body before coming to terms with the world at large. A humorous and well-written fantasy about rare second chances at life and how mankind always veers toward personal domination. The atmosphere is as unique as the plot, and never feels artsy on purpose. Instead, this is a superior looking film to coincide with superior human performances.
your a-z guide to obscure & classic horror movies
Violent Shit
– (1987) – A guy in overalls wanders around killing people with a hatchet that makes his victims squirt a preposterous amount of blood. Viewed in German with no subtitles, but there doesn’t appear to be much of a plot since most shots linger for minutes on end without any dialog. The violence, and only saving grace, becomes repetitious fast.
Birdemic 2: The Resurrection
– (2013) – Pissed off birds rise from the La Brea Tar Pits and attack the environmentally unsound. As unintentionally unfunny as the original, but this time around has a moment or two of genuine humor. Terrible in countless ways, yet hard to condemn since it’s so unabashedly stupid.
Catholic Ghoulgirls
– (2005) – Religious students and their redneck boyfriends take on a hoard of zombies. The banter between characters is often okay, but the horror is dollar store quality. Terrible, but somewhat quirky and runs less than an hour.
The Skeleton Key (2005)
– (2005) – A woman is hired to care for an elderly man in a house of hoodoo secrets. Some parts of the mystery are intriguing, and the conclusion is bizarre, but the overall pace makes every second feel like an hour. Best when dealing with atmosphere, since the character stories leave much to be desired.
Carnival of Souls (1998)
– (1998) – Ensuing a watery car accident, a woman has premonitions of an abusive clown… who’s dead. Tries hard to come off as weird, and certainly is, but nothing straight nor uneven has any meaning or depth. Raises curiosity, but the results are always lame.
Def by Temptation
– (1990) – A barfly/vampire kills men with her teeth, claws, or special powers. Solid characters and commendable acting carry what’s essentially an unoriginal priest vs. faith plot. Features nothing new or exciting, but lacks anything outright detestable.